Mother’s Day is approaching—and with it, a flurry of ads, gift guides, and social media posts telling us what moms really want. But if you’ve ever celebrated this day with mixed emotions, you’re not alone. For many, Mother’s Day isn’t just about flowers and brunch. It can bring up feelings of grief, unmet expectations, or longing.
At With Counseling, we’ve been having a lot of conversations about all that Mother’s Day holds—both the beauty and the complexity. And we think it’s worth pausing to reflect.
Mother’s Day Isn’t Simple for Everyone
For some, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of what hasn’t happened—infertility, loss, or strained relationships. For others, it’s a day shadowed by grief from the death of a mother or the longing for a relationship that never was what they needed it to be.
We often assume this holiday should be joyful, but the truth is: people have feelings about it. Big ones. And they deserve to be acknowledged.
Expectations: The Uninvited Guest at Every Holiday
One recurring theme in our sessions (and in our own lives!) is the weight of expectations. Whether it’s internal pressure to create the perfect day or external expectations from family, we can easily feel overwhelmed or disappointed.
The best way to navigate this? Start by asking yourself: What do I actually want for Mother’s Day this year? And then—this is key—communicate it. If it matters to you to feel celebrated, say so. If a quiet day without any fuss sounds better, that’s valid too.
You don’t have to feel the same way every year. Life changes, and so do we. Let your needs evolve.
Consider the Stories Around You
Another helpful shift is thinking not just about how you feel about Mother’s Day, but how those around you might be feeling too. Is someone you love grieving this year? Has a friend recently lost a child or a parent? Even a simple “Thinking of you” text can go a long way. Don’t worry about finding the perfect words—just show up with care.
We often avoid saying anything because we don’t know what to say. But silence can feel isolating. Acknowledge the joy and the grief—there’s room for both.
Grieving on Mother’s Day
If you’re walking through grief yourself, give yourself permission to feel it. You don’t have to “keep it together” or pretend everything’s fine. Make a plan for the day that honors your needs. Maybe that’s spending time with others who understand. Maybe it’s choosing solitude. Maybe it’s starting a new tradition that holds space for both sorrow and celebration.
Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear. They wait. The more we acknowledge them when they arise, the more freedom we give ourselves to move forward with grace.
Redefining How We Celebrate
One of the most freeing parts of our conversation was recognizing that there’s no one right way to “do” Mother’s Day. You can create a family culture that reflects your values—not what society or extended family expects.
And here’s a helpful tip for families navigating extended-family tensions: When in doubt, honor the mom with the youngest kids. She’s in the thick of it. Ask her what works best—and genuinely listen.
Let’s Make Room for It All
Mother’s Day can hold both joy and sorrow. Appreciation and grief. Celebration and complexity. At With Counseling, we believe the healthiest way to approach this holiday is to bring all of that into the light.
So, take a deep breath. Reflect. Communicate. Care for others. And most of all—be gentle with yourself.