The Importance of Addressing Our Own Mental Health as Parents
Parenting has changed dramatically over the years, not just in terms of technology and resources but also in how we think about mental health. When we started parenting our oldest, the conversations around mental health and parenting were not as prevalent as they are now. Today, we have access to more research, more discussions, and a broader understanding of how our mental well-being impacts our children.
The Mental Load of Parenting
One of the newer conversations in the parenting space is the concept of the “mental load.” This refers to the often unseen responsibilities that typically fall on mothers, such as keeping track of family schedules, RSVPing to events, managing social calendars, and ensuring the day-to-day needs of the household are met. Even in partnerships where both parents are actively involved, this mental load often disproportionately falls on one person. Acknowledging and addressing this mental load is crucial for our overall well-being.
The Impact of Parental Mental Health on Children
As we’ve learned more about mental health, we’ve also seen how our emotional states directly impact our children. Anxiety, depression, and stress don’t just affect us as individuals; they shape the emotional environment our children grow up in. Research suggests that a parent’s mental health can influence a child’s emotional and psychological development, even as early as in utero.
Is This Just Another Form of Mom Guilt?
It’s easy to wonder whether the growing awareness of mental health is just another layer of mom guilt. Are we now burdened with worrying about our mental health on top of everything else? The reality is that many parents recognize that their mental health struggles—whether anxiety, depression, or stress—are making daily life harder than it should be. Acknowledging these struggles isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about seeking support and making changes that benefit both parents and children.
Rethinking Parenting Approaches
Most of us parent based on how we were raised. We take what worked and apply it to our own families, while trying to correct what we felt didn’t work. However, without intention and awareness, we may either repeat patterns that weren’t helpful or swing too far in the opposite direction. Instead of assuming that we turned out “fine,” we need to ask whether we are truly thriving and providing our children with the tools they need for emotional resilience.
The Role of Therapy and Early Intervention
One of the biggest hurdles for parents is recognizing when their children might need mental health support. Many parents wait until things reach a crisis point before seeking help. However, addressing concerns early—whether through therapy, counseling, or simply creating a more supportive environment—can prevent long-term struggles. Therapy isn’t just for moments of crisis; it can be a tool for growth and learning at any stage.
Leading by Example
If we want our children to grow up understanding and valuing mental health, we need to model that behavior. Just as we prioritize their education, extracurricular activities, and physical health, we should prioritize their emotional well-being. By addressing our own mental health, we create a home environment where self-care, emotional awareness, and seeking help when needed are normalized.
Conclusion
Parenting is a journey of constant learning and adaptation. As mental health conversations become more widespread, we have the opportunity to be more intentional about how we parent. By addressing our own mental health, we not only improve our own well-being but also create a healthier and more supportive environment for our children. After all, parenting isn’t just about ensuring our kids succeed academically or athletically—it’s about equipping them with the emotional tools they need to navigate life.