Welcome to the With Counseling Podcast! I’m JJ Blandford, founder and therapist at With Counseling. On today’s episode, we’re tackling a fundamental question: Does therapy actually work?
I recently had lunch with a friend who had never been to therapy. He asked, “What do you even do in therapy? Does it actually work?” These questions are valid and important, so let’s dive into them.
What Is the Purpose of Therapy?
As a therapist, I firmly believe therapy works, but the answer isn’t as simple as “yes” or “no.” Therapy is a space for processing emotions, gaining insight, and working toward personal growth. However, the experience is often different from what people expect. Many clients come in with an idea of how therapy should go, only to find that it challenges them in unexpected ways.
The Role of Expectations in Therapy
One of my biggest soapboxes is that people start therapy with what feels comfortable to them. They might come in wanting to work on anxiety, only to discover that the root cause of their anxiety is something deeper—perhaps unresolved childhood experiences, relationship dynamics, or financial stress. If someone comes to therapy expecting a straightforward fix, they may feel frustrated when deeper work is needed.
Therapy is most effective when approached with an open mind. Instead of asking, “How do I fix this?”, it can be more helpful to ask, “What am I open to learning about myself?” Therapy isn’t about a quick solution; it’s a process of uncovering, understanding, and healing.
What Does Processing Emotions Mean?
Another misconception about therapy is that the therapist “fixes” the client’s problems. Instead, my role is to create a space for clients to process their emotions. Processing means verbalizing your thoughts and feelings, which helps take the overwhelming “spinning” sensation inside and externalize it.
Think of it like this: Sometimes, anxiety or emotional distress feels like a massive, tangled tree inside you. Through processing, we start to pull that tree out and examine its roots. Sometimes, it’s just a small sapling that’s easier to address than we thought. Other times, it’s a full-grown oak that requires deeper work. Either way, giving language to emotions and experiences helps lessen their power.
When Therapy Feels Like It’s Not Working
Some people say, “Therapy didn’t work for me.” There are several reasons why this could happen:
- The Therapist-Client Fit Wasn’t Right – Therapy is highly personal. If the therapist’s style doesn’t match what the client needs, it can hinder progress. Some clients need structured, directive therapy, while others thrive in a more conversational and exploratory approach.
- The Client Wasn’t Ready for the Work – Sometimes, clients think they’re ready for deep emotional work, but when faced with hard truths, they realize they aren’t ready to address them yet. That’s okay! Therapy works best when the client is prepared to engage with the process.
- Unrealistic Expectations – If someone expects immediate results, they may feel like therapy isn’t working. Healing takes time, and progress can be slow. Sometimes, therapy is about planting seeds that will grow later.
The Importance of Reframing Mental Health
Many people believe therapy is only for those in crisis, but that’s not true. Therapy is beneficial at any stage of life. If more people sought therapy when they were feeling a little uncomfortable rather than waiting until they were in full crisis mode, the work could be more preventative rather than reactive.
Final Thoughts: Does Therapy Work?
Yes, therapy works—but it works best when approached with openness, patience, and a willingness to do the work. It’s not about a therapist “fixing” you; it’s about collaborating to uncover patterns, process emotions, and develop strategies for healthier living.
If you’ve had a poor experience with therapy before, I encourage you to try again. Finding the right therapist, being open to the process, and allowing yourself time to grow can make all the difference.
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of the With Counseling Podcast! If you found this discussion helpful, share it with a friend or leave a review. See you next time!